Being Stupid.!

Every of us hope the best for our self. For peoples around us. For peoples that we love. Some may do everything to satisfy others. One may not. Thats called selfish. Self centered. Anything related.

Every single way taken may not be the good way. It may be right to some peoples. And. It maybe wrong to some. It maybe satisfiying enough for some peoples. And. It may not be for other person. The end didn't justify our means. Even. Some end can be justify by our means. Each of its had one thing to be made. Decision. Opportunity cost. Result. Risk. And. Outcome.

Decision. It better be good for all of us. Don't take others for granted. Value others like ourself. Cold-hearted. Only for some reason and purposes.

There are others that don't want to be like the others.And. There are some tend to be "its just me".

Littlest Thing of Memories...

There is good and there are evil, right and wrong, heroes and villains, rich and poor, rich in gift and poor in gift, rich in love and poor in love. If we’re blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each, where light streams through, I wait in silence for the these times when sense can be made, when meaningless existence comes into focus, our commitment come to attention and our purpose presents itself. If we have the strength to be honest to our self, letting our egos free, what we find there is a solution that staring back at us, our reflection, bearing witness to the duality of life as each one of us are capable of both the dark and the light, of good and evil, of either, of all. Sometimes we didn’t realize of hurting our closest one, it hurt much but what it means to us.

The destiny, while marching ever in our direction, can be rerouted by the choices we make, the love we hold onto and the promises we made and keep. Letting go all those things even it seem unfair and holding to something that I believe is right one for us.
Ashyraf POV: The only thing that matters now is who laugh last?

(* Heroes 3-13)


Never heard of someone ever said that life was fair and I’m not saying that it should be, knowing that you are what you want to be and I’m not comes as no surprise, but don’t expect me to be happy for you and don’t smile at me and tell me things will work out for me too, I don’t want your pity cause I hate your pity. My envy can’t describe how I loathe you for having all the stars, leaving my eyes to marvel the sky knowing it should be mine, yet it’s you I see wasting the dream that only I deserve and I’ll tear off your face to see your smile.
Ashyraf POV: Be hate because of what you are rather be hate because of what you are not! Play with ashyraf then till died you see the wrath.

(* Congratulations, I Hate You)


Never put the blame onto somebody else if all things that happen come from our mistake. Instead of pointing your finger to someone else it is better to find your mistake and try to take it to the better level. When the passions just lost and all the trust is gone, way too far and way too long to just get it back.Just take a look of our self at the mirror before we can see another person image.
Ashyraf POV: Look at yourself first; think of what had you done before saying anything.

(* Point the Blame)


Once a friend lend on a shoulder to share their problem, once they are crying with you and given the trust that no one should have. A problem be solve with a full advice and support but a friend may be a enemy of ours one day or just forget what we had done before to them. Forgetting who we are to them and what we had done for them before. Time does change so for some people. All the hard time together being ignored after having a happy life with others and as for the one who had been left now suffering alone without someone with them.
Ashyraf POV: Friends comes, friends go.

(* Friend for Rent)

Kindred Soul...

What had happen today maybe one of a test that makes me grow up stronger to face all other challenges in the future? Who will not feel sad if something that can make a man goes down happens. But as Kimin said before, shit do happen (sorry, I’ve paraphrase it). Talking to my parent about what had happen, they keep giving me their full support to do whatever that I think that is good for me and my future. Which parents doesn’t want to see their children to be success. Thank god, I had a superb parent that always cares of me. What had happen actually remind me of someone word which they had said it all to my face. I think maybe this is one of it. I may not be like them in every ways and I knew this day will come to me, and I also realize that we are different, why in the world I have to be same as you to have what you have. You had success in your life, and I don’t even want to know. A few years back I had nothing in life, and also today, I also had nothing, but sometime it makes me happy with my life. It’s just the simple me and it’s always be like this. I don’t need someone that betrayed me to tell me what I’ve to do with my life. Many people had ask me if I okay with what I had gone through, and what I said to them just like Hari Raya advertisement brought by Petronas “I’m Okay, never mind”, but deep down inside my heart, who knows about what are raging inside me, it’s like I want to blow up inside with all those thing that keep playing inside my head. I admit that I envy some people who are better than me, but its maybe good thing for me as I think of it, it will make me go a lot more stronger to face people or may I said the world maybe. I not a person that wake up in the morning and just be my life as it want to be, cause I like to start something at the night before tomorrow, what I want to wear on the next day, what I want to do, where I will go, how much do I spend, with whom do I go, etc are always the questions that I had to answer before I go to sleep. So I bet you all know what kind of person am I, maybe a well plan person sometimes and timely I like to work out with the long run plan rather working with the short term planning. Thinking about the future makes me feel energetic to continue my life a day more. Convocation days are coming ahead to me and I had already thinking of a thousand excuses, reasons, lies and stories to be told. Sometime, I feel a lot more satisfy if people did knew or care about what I done and the same goes with me. What do I gain from people who are feels that they are better than anyone, I knew they achieve a lot, but I don’t cares about them. I just don’t want to feel guiltier with myself. For those that know about me, you may talk to the others, but I also don’t care. I don’t care if you don’t care. Walking the day through, I still don’t like if someone try to take what is mine and make it as theirs. They should ask for it first from me, not just use it as it is the public properties who anyone can make use of it. I don’t even take another person belonging and make it as mine, I rather buy something if I don’t have it if I capable to buy it, but if I can’t have it, then I just let it go, I don’t have it, don’t take others, otherwise it is important for me to have that, I will ask from the owner to use their thing for a certain period. If the owner doesn’t want to lend me their thing, no more arguing about it, nothing personal since I knew maybe I couldn’t afford to replace it if something happen, but for some people this doesn’t even matter to them. What are others also belong to them. When it is broke, they just make 14 inch face without any feelings, they don’t even bother to say I’m sorry for what they had done. I’m not a rich person who can afford to have everything in my life, that why I value all my belonging, take care of it like myself. It all has different sentimental value to me. But do others really cares about it. From years to years I just keep thinking about others feeling, neglecting mine, what are they feeling toward me, I’m ready to offer a help whenever they need it, in the name of friends. But when in turn to my turn having a bad hair day, no one left with me to lend me their shoulder for me to cry in, just Microsoft word for me to express my feeling and voice out my brains. Maybe today is just not my day. I don’t want to be guilty because standing at where I am, wrong place at the wrong time. It always a sunshine after the rain, but sometimes I’m too tired to wait for the pretty sunshine with a rainbow after the slow or heavy rain like cat and dog. Some peoples might be influenced by the people around them. But some are not since they are capable to react to the certain situation wisely. A few people may be love for what they are and some might be love because of what they are not. There is a idiom that says “It’s better to be hate because of what we are rather than be love because of what we are not”. This idiom advises people that it is better to be yourself rather than be someone that you are not in order to satisfy some other person, even though it is only at the sake of that time only. Better be left or neglect because of what we are, or the person just can’t fit with us in any ways. It is good when we are in the group that we love to talk, express our opinion, feeling because they will understand us better than anyone else. When something bad happen, we realize a lot of thing around us, who are our best friend, foes, what are we capable of and what we not capable of. The reality is no one will just offer you a hand without having something to gain back from you. This is where we owe someone for their “kindness” and may not resist if they do something that is against our principles. We are in the middle of junction and don’t know which road will take us to the right path since the entire road sign are vandalism by some teenagers. Scent of medicine and hospital makes me remember the old days when I been hospitalize because my own fault and not. The boredom to be in that place haunted me every second I go there, but as I have to go there I don’t even bother about all of that. I pray for our health and safety so we can stay away from that place. Migraine, anxiety and caffeine injection inside my body been left out at the first point, but when my body can’t take it anymore, it takes 24 hours sleep for a recovery. To someone who aware of how it’s feels, better don’t do it because it may lead to your fatality. As the day passing by, I still with my good old days. I’m still the same as before. Not much changes in me during these past few months. But the fact of the matter is I happy with life even though sometimes I still confuse with the correct path that I take, envy with some people that I know. People do the talking and I just listen to the crappy crap with a smile. How rhetoric am I these days. (smiling by myself). Why do people feel so arrogant when they having 4 wheels ride beside 2 wheel ride? We also deserve to use the same path as theirs. Riding on a road with an elephant between me sometimes makes me feel scare to travel. But I have to do it no matter what for the sake of my future. With all of the people want to go faster also with their vehicles, how many percent of the driver think about the motorcyclists that use the same road as theirs, riding at the one side of the road at 60 – 90 km/hours to arrive at their destination safely as the driver. Motorcyclist also a person who deserves to live in this world, not just driver who are bigheaded doesn’t even want to care about others (especially to mata sepet). When it comes to one second honking at you, it may be assume that the driver knows you or just want to give you a warning that you have a flat tyre, it just the way people say hi anyway. When other s does this don’t hesitate to honk back at them, even it is a police. When other do this kind of honking a few times at you, it just changes, they don’t even know you, what are they saying is “get off from my road you maggot”, that why I’m saying that they are so bigheaded with a small brain. At traffic light, usually the motorcyclists are in the front, when the light turn to green suddenly the motorcycle just die leaving you in the front of hundred vehicles maybe, they may honking at you with one minutes honk, this is where they get tension because the light is already gone green even though it just only for one second. Some people who are can’t be patient enough just said all the nasty thing about us, showing the middle finger, but what can I said, don’t be panic, push you bike to the side of the road and let the bigheaded elephant passing though, and show them you middle fingers too (but be careful). We might heard of others says that my brother been hit by a lorry even though he only ride at 20 km/h or my father is dead because some crazy car’s driver just hit him while him walking to mosque. To those who has Honda, Benz, Perodua (MyV,ViVa and so what ever) and Proton (Perdana,BLM,Baja gTi etc) please! Open your eyes, be sensitive, and think of others maybe it will happen to your family too, give ways before you pass away. Come to my attention is what I read before, someone said that it only happen to other person not us, but the fact of the matters is, and we are other people to others. Don’t forget to remember this. Believe in the law of karma. Because some people may don’t even care about it and forget that this world is round (sphere actually) and do as they want without thinking of one month or a few years ahead. I’m not saying that I am a good person, I also knew how to socialize, listen to rock band, stealing, fighting etc, but as to some person I am not good enough to befriend with or maybe I’m too boring to talk to or I don’t have anything good to give to. Sometimes it is just good if we accept who we are rather than be a different person to fit with certain group. “Tak kenal maka tak cinta”, who comes up with this? It is the same with don’t judge the book by its cover right? I think it is enough at this point, writing in English make my brain don’t work well, full of ideas but don’t know how to express it. Maybe it (friend of mine aka drugs) will be a continuation or maybe not (I think it will be no more, since I am leaving this part alone). In every journey, the traveler must ask, “Was the right path taken?”, Many roads are long and winding…, Filled with those who have lost their way. Some forge their own course, Guided by faith, Seeking not a location, But a kindred soul. Others step together, Finding safety in the arms of another. A few remove themselves from the trail, To avoid the path of temptation. But those who watch the track too closely, Fail to see where it led them. And they’re often all too surprised, By their destination.

Thank You Friends..For My Bliss…Maybe?

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